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I'm still here!

The countdown is on.

June 18th is the scheduled c-section for little nugget and I while I can't wait for him to get here, I would also be lying if I didn't admit I was TERRIFIED.

See, this is my third c-section since I had an emergency one with my first kiddo. I still remember those 22 hours of labor, still remember how pissed I was when I told the nurse something felt wrong and she dismissed me as a 'first-timer'. I can still feel the fear of waiting for my daughter to cry after they got her out and feeling like it took forever because she'd been stuck and compressed by the contractions.

I know that with each c-section the risks increase so I'll definitely be going into this one with a healthy dose of fear mixed with the excitement of holding my little boy for the first time.

I just keep telling myself to breathe, that everything will work out just as it's supposed to, and to put my faith in God and His plan.

Now I'm finally down to the last 30 days!

(Yes, I know what the GIF is actually for but it fit, so I couldn't pass it up LOL).

When my husband and I made the decision to have our third, we both knew this was going to be the last one. Not just because of the above mentioned fear, but because we felt content in the idea of being a family of 5. So knowing this is the last time I will be pregnant, the last time I will hold my own newborn in my arms has brought me a sense of peace (and yes, I do know for a fact this will be the last one).

I thought this pregnancy was going to be a breeze (my others were!), but I WAS WRONG. I haven't had much time for writing lately since it takes nearly all of my energy just to keep the house from turning into a junk pile. I've got a pinched nerve in my back, a muscle in my abdomen that won't stop hurting, so sitting OR standing for long periods of time has become difficult.

I'm fairly certain that even if I WANTED to have a fourth, my body would simply crumble into a pile at the idea.

I'm staying positive though, one month and I'll be on track to getting back to some form of normalcy and I am REALLY looking forward to not being winded simply walking up the stairs.

There's also the fact I'll be able to enjoy wine and sushi again.

Anyway, I know I've been relatively silent lately, but I promise I'm still around, binge-watching Cougar Town (for the hundredth time), while also researching and outlining my next project.

I've also been trying to pack my hospital bag (something I didn't do for my previous pregnancy's but am determined to do for this one), but I have no idea what I should actually put in it! Any tips? What were some of your must haves for the hospital stay?

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